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©2009 =BornBlitzed
:iconbornblitzed:

Artist's Comments

Awkward date... was awkward. :paranoid:


:camera: This is my submission for *moyanII's visual haiku contest.

I'm still not sure where the kireji ought to go. The consensus appears to favor the unpunctuated example above, but there's a subtle difference to the alternatives that I'm not yet ready to dismiss:

raindrops interrupt—
the pauses within
non-conversation

raindrops interrupt
the pauses within
...non-conversation


:hmm: Decide for yourselves.


Update, as of July 7: Honorable mention; I am indeed honored.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconmoyanii:
without kireji it has yet another meaning and work just as well. in fact the no kireji version is my fave.

--
~secret study~
~silent studio~
:iconmystery-of-brenna:
Hmm, hard decision, always is. I would leave it unpunctuated as well, just so that the reader can make up his or her own mind on how they want to interpret it. Personally I favour the first interpretation (the one with the hyphen =))
:iconwyldhoney:
I like the written version most. From the typed ones, I figure two is the winner.

--
'Needed time to clear my mind and breathe the free air, find some peace there. Used to keep my heart in jail but the choice was love or fear of pain and I...
chose...
love...'

Anathema - 'Everything'
:iconbornblitzed:
I accede.

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconbornblitzed:
"I would leave it unpunctuated as well, just so that the reader can make up his or her own mind on how they want to interpret it."

That certainly seems to be the consensus. :thanks:

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconbornblitzed:
It looks like the unpunctuated version might be best in show. (Very minor pun intended.) I've edited the comments box a bit to reflect that.

Thank you. 8-)

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconalimari:
I'm definitely leaning towards the first version of the punctuation, much more than the one on the napkin or the second version.

Details

June 30
115 KB
115 KB
600×698

Statistics

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Camera Data

Panasonic
DMC-LZ7
10/300 second
F/2.8
6 mm
400
Jun 30, 2009, 2:54:11 AM

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