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Massacre of the Innocence by =BornBlitzed:iconBornBlitzed:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Satire > Ballad




Georgie Porgie threw an orgy
     just outside L.A.,
where Jack Be Nimble grabbed his thimble,
     outing him as gay...

Little Jack Horner bought Time Warner
     before the bubble burst,
though Jumping Jack Flash saw the crash
     and liquidated first...

Jack said Jill was taking the Pill
     to ward off impregnation;
the Three Blind Mice have lobbied twice
     for victim's compensation...

Little Miss Muffet had her tuffet
     liposuctioned out,
and Little Bo Peep married a creep;
     lamb chops gave him gout...

Jack Sprat's wife went under the knife
     for Lap-Band surgery,
then Third Little Pig struck it big
     on reality TV...

Old King Cole's gone on the dole,
     exposed as a pretender;
while Wee Willie Winkie flashed his pinkie,
     that Registered Offender...

Mother Goose declares a truce
     on being rearranged;
nursery rhymes reflect the times,
     but times, they've sure a-changed!
©2009 =BornBlitzed
:iconbornblitzed:

Author's Comments

:paranoid: Man, I scare myself sometimes.

(Title = pun, of course.)


8-) Update, as of Mar. 24: Expanded and tweaked; I hope you enjoy the revisions.

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-03-23

Of all of the humorous poems I have read on DA, for me personally this one has to top them all. Massacre of the Innocence by =BornBlitzed has a witty satire that is just perfectly twisted! (Suggested by `Flutterings and Featured by ^LadyLincoln)

Comments


love 1 1 joy 13 13 wow 4 4 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconfllnthblnk:
^fllnthblnk Mar 15, 2009, 5:16:56 AM
Oh, dear... If the Shrek franchise were a poem, this would be it.

I've also had gout before. Four times, actually. The type of disease I would wish on my worst enemy--it's that bad.

--
Clearfield Review: Prose, Poetry, Art.
:icongivemetears:
~GiveMeTears Mar 15, 2009, 7:07:18 AM
I love it.

--
"Bridge Club: ASSEMBLEEEEEE!!!!!"

Mental Ward: We're all here because you're not all there.
:iconretrozombie:
`RetroZombie Mar 15, 2009, 9:16:05 AM
Very nice! :D

--
玉: 我的天使 ♥
Always look on the bright side... there's more light there and it's easier to find stuff.
:iconzomg-its-keppy:
~ZOMG-its-Keppy Mar 15, 2009, 2:36:35 PM
Excellent.

--
My favorite emoticons:
:la: :meow: :dummy: :woohoo: :ohnoes: :library:
:icongaioumonbatou:
`GaioumonBatou Mar 15, 2009, 3:11:20 PM
:rofl: I love it, I really do. :happycry:

--
"One of my first projects as the God of Literature would be to remove all the adjectives from say, Conrad's Heart of Darkness." - `AbCat

*Adopt-A-Writer | =DailyDeviants | `seniormentors | =Trashrock | *Writers-Workshop
:iconbornblitzed:
=BornBlitzed Mar 16, 2009, 10:26:55 AM
8-) Thanks, Will.

And I'm really sorry to hear that; one of my friends suffers from gout in his knee, every so often. :(

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconbornblitzed:
=BornBlitzed Mar 16, 2009, 10:27:19 AM
:D I'm glad. Thank you.

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconbornblitzed:
=BornBlitzed Mar 16, 2009, 10:28:15 AM
:thanks: I do what I can, John.

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconbornblitzed:
=BornBlitzed Mar 16, 2009, 10:30:03 AM
:O_o: Bogus.

(Oh, wait, we weren't trading Bill & Ted quotes? My bad. :lol:)

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
:iconbornblitzed:
=BornBlitzed Mar 16, 2009, 10:30:43 AM
:bow: Thank yew, thankyewverramuch.

--
:| I've tried pursuing happiness. Happiness sought a restraining order.
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